"Celebrating" diabetes

Twenty years ago today, my life was turned upside down.  As was my parents and siblings.  My mom talks about how she thought I was going to die the night they brought me into the ER.  I don't remember a lot of it at first, other than waking up in the hospital and being poked again and again.  And again and again.  Forcing my family to sit through hours of education day after day, injecting oranges and pricking their own fingers to have an idea of what I was experiencing.  I hated it.

People often say, "I don't know how you do it...I could never do it.  I hate shots/needles/blood/etc."  When it comes down to being a matter of life and death, the thing you hate doesn't seem as bad.  The thing I hate most is that diabetes affects everything and everything affects diabetes.  I blame my control freak nature on diabetes.  I have always had to be ready for what could or might happen and couldn't rely on anyone else to know when I'm high or low or something isn't right.  I vividly remember sitting at an appointment, reading a book oblivious to anything while Dr. Lamberty told my mom what we (she) needed to know.  He called me out and told me to pay attention and that this was my disease and I needed to take care of it.  Welcome independence and self-sufficiency...

And then there are nurses...  Nurses are a big deal.  I remember Mary Jorgenson being one of my nurses and how kind and gentle she was.  She probably has no idea who I am, but I remember her.  I still remember another nurse who was not kind and gentle and was sassy at my dad when they moved me out of ICU-I'll leave her name out.  There was a male nurse, which was almost unheard of back then, I think his name was Leroy...he was my favorite.  He hid in the closet one night and tried to scare my visitors.  Such simple things, but for a scared nine-year old, they were huge.  I have met so many people the last twenty years I would not have met had it not been for my diabetes.  Camp Needlepoint in Hudson, WI, was like heaven growing up.  It was the two weeks of summer I felt normal.  It gave me a confidence I didn't know I was missing and taught me that diabetes doesn't have to restrict me from doing anything.  If you know a kid with diabetes, send them to Camp Needlepoint or any diabetes camp-it will change their life.

Being exposed to doctors, nurses, dietitians and nurse educators showed me the impact (good and bad) one person can have on an individual and family's life.  I don't think I would've considered the nursing field without my diabetes.  I often joke that that's why I got diabetes-to direct me into nursing.  And keep me semi-responsible.  Many days, I get these crazy ideas like joining the circus or hitchhiking across the country.  And then I remember that I need health insurance to help pay for these stinking drugs and supplies.  So I keep working...

I never dreamed I would feel so loved and blessed and that thinking about having diabetes for twenty years would be such a good day.  I'm so thankful for my family, friends and co-workers who gave gifts, sent messages, cards, texts and reminded me today how lucky I am to be alive!  I think about the good things God has done through a horrible circumstance and am reminded of His goodness and provision.  He will take care of me-whether it's financially, insurance, doctors or the strength and energy to get through the day, He continues to show me that He is enough.  

Note to self...

I came across this blog post through the (in)courage website and know it will be a good reminder to come back to so am posting the link here...I really think you should read it.  My favorite part was this question: 

"when I consider opportunities, I think, will I be happy I did this when I am 75 and look back on my life?"

Until next time...

Stuff, stuff and more stuff.

Being a home care and hospice nurse has taught me so many things.  I knew that I was blessed and fortunate with the things I had, like a roof over my head, bed to sleep in, food in my fridge and family who loves me (at least most of the time)   :).  

What I didn't quite realize was how much I really have and how wealthy I am.  I don't mean  that to sound rude/snobby, but it's so American to always want more, better and bigger.  I have all sorts of luxuries, but compared to other people I know, I'm lacking.  I don't have cable t.v.  I get one channel.  I don't own a smart phone.  I don't have a flat screen t.v.  I rent an old run down house that has flooring that looks like it's from oh, probably the 70's or so.  I don't have a dishwasher, other than my two hands.  I have an ipod, but it's at least three years old and has been washed, so doesn't work all the time.  To me, I was "doing okay", but never considered myself to be that well off.  The more I learn, the more I realize it's all in perspective and money and "stuff" is so irrelevant. 

I've met so many people who have much less than I do, but are just as happy, if not happier.  Being a hospice nurse is a constant reminder to me that all those "things" are worthless.  They are nice for the time being, but when the rubber meets the road, nobody cares about those things.  It's always about people and relationships.  I have yet to hear a dying person  talk about how they are so happy that they worked so hard to earn so much money to inherit all those amazing possessions.  They generally speak of people in their lives.  The family and friends who have helped them along life's journey and the stories and memories that come along with it.

I have been convicted lately that I waste a lot in my life.  I waste a lot of time on useless things.  I often find myself going out to eat because I hardly have any groceries, but yet throw out moldy food because I didn't use it.  I could go on and on.  

Please don't hear me say that having things is wrong.  I'm not saying that either.  I know some people who are much wealthier than you or I, but they use what they have been given for God's glory and are very generous and hospitable people.

Personally, I have felt the need to cut back myself and be more generous to others.  I came across a book on someone's blog and then actually saw the book a couple days ago at Barnes and Noble.  The book is called "7" by Jen Hatmaker.  She takes seven areas (food, clothes, spending, media, possessions, waste and stress), one each month and makes seven simple choices to fight back against the modern-day disease of greed, materialism and overindulgence.  It sounds a big extreme, doesn't it?   Myself and a couple others have decided to give it a try.  There is always strength in numbers when doing something like this.  So how about you?  Do you want to try it with us?  I just started reading the book and for example, the first month is food.  She only allowed herself to eat seven foods for one month.  (Ridiculous, I know!!!)  Not only does it make us aware of the excess in our lives, but the fasting helps us to focus on God and what He has to teach and show us.  But my heart is as she worded, "Jesus, may there be less of me and my junk and more of You and Your kingdom."

I'm hoping to start in the next couple weeks.  If you're interested in joining me for this endeavor, comment or send me a message/email.  Happy Labor Day!  :)