Yes, It's been awhile. My blogging habits are very inconsistent and totally random. And so it goes...
This is not at all how I pictured my life. I'm not exactly sure what I did picture, but I at least thought I would have things a little more "figured out" at this age. I am realizing how unpredictable and uncertain life truly is. I am realizing how little control I have over my life. As much as I fight holding the reigns of my future, I know that it's already planned and God has something great that I cannot even begin to imagine. With that in mind, I don't want to be in control. I want to be amazed at the way God blesses me when I obey Him, which is where the road block comes in. I struggle so much with being independent and doing things on my own. I Hate asking for help. (Notice that hate is with a capital h...) I always thought that when I finished high school, life would be good. I finished high school and realized that "When I finish college, then life will be good." I finished college and realized that "When I find my first adult job, then life will be good." I found my first adult job and realized that life isn't going "to be good" at the next stage. There is always something missing. First it was a degree, then a job, and then a spouse. I thought, "When I get married, then life will be good." What I am actually realizing is that I need to be content at whatever stage I'm in because when I'm living in true obedience to the Lord, I am at the best place I could possibly be. Such a process...
