Twenty years ago today, my life was turned upside down. As was my parents and siblings. My mom talks about how she thought I was going to die the night they brought me into the ER. I don't remember a lot of it at first, other than waking up in the hospital and being poked again and again. And again and again. Forcing my family to sit through hours of education day after day, injecting oranges and pricking their own fingers to have an idea of what I was experiencing. I hated it.
People often say, "I don't know how you do it...I could never do it. I hate shots/needles/blood/etc." When it comes down to being a matter of life and death, the thing you hate doesn't seem as bad. The thing I hate most is that diabetes affects everything and everything affects diabetes. I blame my control freak nature on diabetes. I have always had to be ready for what could or might happen and couldn't rely on anyone else to know when I'm high or low or something isn't right. I vividly remember sitting at an appointment, reading a book oblivious to anything while Dr. Lamberty told my mom what we (she) needed to know. He called me out and told me to pay attention and that this was my disease and I needed to take care of it. Welcome independence and self-sufficiency...
And then there are nurses... Nurses are a big deal. I remember Mary Jorgenson being one of my nurses and how kind and gentle she was. She probably has no idea who I am, but I remember her. I still remember another nurse who was not kind and gentle and was sassy at my dad when they moved me out of ICU-I'll leave her name out. There was a male nurse, which was almost unheard of back then, I think his name was Leroy...he was my favorite. He hid in the closet one night and tried to scare my visitors. Such simple things, but for a scared nine-year old, they were huge. I have met so many people the last twenty years I would not have met had it not been for my diabetes. Camp Needlepoint in Hudson, WI, was like heaven growing up. It was the two weeks of summer I felt normal. It gave me a confidence I didn't know I was missing and taught me that diabetes doesn't have to restrict me from doing anything. If you know a kid with diabetes, send them to Camp Needlepoint or any diabetes camp-it will change their life.
Being exposed to doctors, nurses, dietitians and nurse educators showed me the impact (good and bad) one person can have on an individual and family's life. I don't think I would've considered the nursing field without my diabetes. I often joke that that's why I got diabetes-to direct me into nursing. And keep me semi-responsible. Many days, I get these crazy ideas like joining the circus or hitchhiking across the country. And then I remember that I need health insurance to help pay for these stinking drugs and supplies. So I keep working...
I never dreamed I would feel so loved and blessed and that thinking about having diabetes for twenty years would be such a good day. I'm so thankful for my family, friends and co-workers who gave gifts, sent messages, cards, texts and reminded me today how lucky I am to be alive! I think about the good things God has done through a horrible circumstance and am reminded of His goodness and provision. He will take care of me-whether it's financially, insurance, doctors or the strength and energy to get through the day, He continues to show me that He is enough.
