Rounding off!

Well, I'm still not totally packed yet, but just wanted to post once more before I go....

I have been overwhelmed today and yesterday with phone calls, texts and people asking me if I got my documents and telling me how excited they are for me and reminding me they're praying for me.

My church is having it's annual mission's conference weekend where a missionary couple comes and speaks through various events.  Tonight was the "international dinner" and the couple spoke about their lives and how they were called to missions.  It was soooooo encouraging!  They had a great message too about not carrying my culture stuff into the culture I'm going into.  He talked about being a "square" in a "circle" culture and how I need to "round off my corners" so I'm not as square because I won't be in a square culture.  (Kind of one of those 'you had to be there' type analogies...)  Anyhow, I'm probably going to be up way later than I wanted to because I waited so long to pack, but it was so worth it!  Thank you Bonnie and Virgil Adams!!!

I'm getting anxious to see what the Lord has in store!!!  I begin to wonder what this trip will lead to....

I'm not sure if I'll be able to update while I'm gone or not, but one way or another, you'll hear from me soon!  :)

Three days. Plenty of time for travel documents to arrive, right?!

Yep, still no travel documents.


I came home tonight and saw a package on the table that I thought was my travel documents.  Nope.  It was my shirt from the Walk for Alzheimer's I did last Saturday.  I've never been so disappointed to get a free shirt.


I'm reminded today that I can't just trust God one day and then get discouraged and upset a few days later when life hasn't fallen back into place again.  I need to remind myself that God is bigger than the mail system and however I think this all needs to happen and if He wants me to go to Gabon, it will arrive.  It will.  


I cannot tell you how many times I actually think about the fact that I'm supposed to leave in a few days and don't have my stuff and I feel like I'm going to vomit.  And then I'm reminded that it's out of my control and whatever is meant to happen, will.  


I think I'm just going to bed.  I'm exhausted.  Please pray.

T minus five days...

Well, I'm not sure where the time has gone, but I leave this coming Saturday!!!  Wait....what?!?!?!?!?


I still haven't received my visa and passport.  I called TDS (travel document agency) Friday to see if I had to sign for the package when it came and the first guy I talked to gave me the "your name isn't in our system" line.  Freaked out for a minute and then he talked to so-and-so who was taking it to the Embassy and told me it should be sent out that day and I could expect to receive it Monday or Tuesday.


I had a little road block with trying to get my insulin pump supplies, but I had this amazing woman (Tracie from Medtronic) who went above and beyond and figured everything out and said I should receive that stuff Monday as well.  It will feel like Christmas this week with all these lovely packages arriving!  :)


It still doesn't seem real that I'm going.  I work all week and have to pack yet, which makes me want to vomit.  This morning, my church had a special time of praying for me and Pastor Vaughn asked me what I was expecting God to do on this trip, or something along those lines.  Good question....I'm not totally sure.  I've learned so many things and been reminded of so many things through just preparing for this trip that I can't wait to see what else God has.  I'm trying to be as open-minded as possible and not have too many expectations because I know that often things don't go how I planned or imagined....clearly!


I feel a bit basket-caseish and everyonce in awhile start to fret about all that needs to happen before I leave Saturday morning.  But the biggest thing I've learned and been reminded of time and time again is that God is in control and He will take care of it.  He doesn't need my help.  He doesn't need me to go to Africa to work with these sick people.  He doesn't need me to go tell these people that there is a God who created them and loves them and wants a personal relationship with them.  He doesn't need me to do any of it.  But I get to!!!  I get to be a part of His plan for it all.  And for that I am soooo blessed.


Please be praying that I take extra time this week to sit and be still before God.  I've found in the last few weeks, I've neglected that a little bit.  I've been so "busy trying to get everything ready."  (Stupid excuse, I know...)  I do that more than I would like to admit.  I'm a doer and a server and justify it because 'I'm doing it for Jesus,' but sometimes I forget that it doesn't really matter what I do for Him if I'm not spending time with Him.  So pray that I don't get so caught up in being His hands and feet that I miss time spent with Him.  


Thank you so much for all your prayers, donations, support and encouragement.  I cannot tell you how blessed I am by each of you.  God blows me away with who I run into just when I need a little extra encouragement and He has affirmed this trip through so many of you as well.  I cannot say thank you enough!


I hope you find Truth in this verse, it's one of my favorites: Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6:38 (NIV)

The rest of the story! (sorry I got a little lengthy...)

Gosh, so much has happened since my last post....:)  Let me catch you up to speed for those of you I haven't talked to or weren't in church on Sunday...


Thursday afternoon/evening, I printed out all the papers and had everything filled out.  All I needed to do was get my yellow fever vaccination stuff (From the Brainerd Clinic), obtain more passport photos (Via Rex McDonald studio in Wadena) and mail it all back to Washington D.C per Fed Ex (drop box in Long Prairie, where I had to go for work-perfect.).  Simple enough, right?  Oh no.  The lady at the clinic informed me that she was getting over an upper respiratory illness and wasn't feeling well.  The doctor who had to sign my vaccination from was not in Friday.  I asked if he would be in Monday and she informed me that she had a busy day that day and "didn't know if she'd have time."  I politely informed her that I was sure she had more than enough work to do, but that I'm supposed to leave the country October 1st and would really appreciate her help in any way.  She basically had zero interest in helping me, so as I'm breaking down in tears, I say, "Can you just call me as soon as you can help me get this taken care of?" and I hung up.  And cried.  Again.  So I try to pull it together to go get my passport photos taken-lovely pictures-thankfully they were able to just reprint my previous ones so I didn't have sad, teary-eyed passport photos.  :)  I then proceed to call the gentleman at TDS (Travel Document services---the place I sent everything to in Washington D.C) and the operator transfers me to "Alex" who is supposed to help me.  Well, wouldn't you know that Alex was not in his office ALL DAY on Friday.  I get his voicemail and am frustrated-I just want to talk to someone who can help me!  But wait!  His inbox is full so I can't even leave a message.  I called back to TDS probably at least ten times Friday and either got the general voicemail or Alex's voicemail.  I even told the operator that this guys inbox is full and asked if there was someone else who could help me.  He assured me there was and proceeded to transfer me....to Alex's voicemail.   ah!!!!  


So Friday, I was a bit of a wreck.  Finally, I realized that it was Friday and there was nothing else that I could do.  I was still confident that God wanted me to go on this trip, but was still questioning how this was all going to pan out.  I kept repeating to myself, Philippians 4:6, which says, "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done."  God commands me not to worry.  Over the course of the weekend, I can honestly say that I was at total peace about this mess.  I allowed God to have control and still felt confident that in some crazy, amazing way, He would get this taken care of and provide what I needed to do it.  I was totally content with whatever was going to happen.  I knew that if it didn't work out, for whatever reason, I wasn't meant to go.  Would it have been a struggle?  Heck yes.  I kept thinking of all the people who have supported me and what if I didn't go?!?!  But I was completely surrendered to the will of God and whatever that looked like.  I don't know that I've ever felt so content and peaceful about such chaos in my life.  I was sooo encouraged in church on Sunday by so many people who asked where things were at and reminded me they were praying.  


Last night, I reviewed all my paperwork and made sure I had everything in order.  Even made extra copies (just in case).  I had to work for a few hours and then was planning to head to Brainerd to hopefully get my vaccination stuff from the lady at the clinic, have the court house staff sign my documents and seal them and then head to the Fed Ex office to send it all away.  Again.  While I'm driving to Brainerd, I decided to call TDS one last time to see if my stuff "magically" appeared and I had to ask a few questions to make sure I was resending everything correctly.  The operator transfers me to some guy who proceeds to check and tells me I'm still not in the system and they haven't received anything.  At this point, I'm so crunched for time, that TDS requires you to make an "appointment" to have your documents signed and pay a lot of money to expedite this process.  So I ask this guy how I set up this appointment and he transfers me to another guy.  While I'm talking to this man, he asks for my name because he sorts the mail everyday and "if my stuff arrives, they don't want to double issue everything."  So I tell him my name and he informs me I don't need this appointment, but to just send everything in.  I'm getting ready to hang up and he's like, "Wait...hold on a second..."  Could it be!?!?!?!?!?  He tells me he's just getting the mail from Friday....  and then he says, "Jennifer L. Steinkopf....yep, here's your passport, visa application...yep, it's all here!"  Me: ARE YOU KIDDING?!   (He probably thought I was crazy....)  


I just laugh.  I've been saying how I want to practically apply the things I say I believe.  I want it to move beyond head knowledge to heart knowledge and truly living it in my day-to-day life.  I also just mentioned how much I struggle with control.  What an opportunity to give up control and apply my talk lately of how God is faithful and provides.  I'm not saying I enjoyed going through this mess, that's pushing it.  However, it was such a great reminder that God always takes care of it and goes above and beyond.  And that what happens isn't always what I want or had planned or how I expected it go, but when I quit trying to do it my way and control everything and let God do His thing, it's all good.

Dear United States Postal Service, Please return my passport and other documents STAT! Love, Jenny

Yep, that's right folks, my passport, yellow fever/immunization record and check/application for my visa are lost in the mail.  I fly out in fifteen days.  Just lovely.....


The travel document service agency website says it takes about a week to process to get the visa so I was starting to get a little worried that I hadn't received anything back and it's been at least three if not four weeks.  I called this afternoon and spoke to a few different people and basically, my name is not in the system and they have not received anything.  So I need to get a new passport, obtain a visa, and another copy of my immunization record indicating I've received the yellow fever one-in about ten business days.


I'm not gonna lie, I got off the phone with the guy and I cried.  "God what are you doing?!  Why haven't you nicely guided those documents to the place so they can issue my visa and send them back!?!?!?" and "God, I've told people how much you're providing over and above for me for this trip.  This does not qualify as providing!!!"  And then it was like He said, "Do you trust me?"  Of course I trust Him!  I've been telling people lately how He's taken care of everything I need lately!  Well, if that's the case, what am I all worried about!?!?!  I'm ridiculous.  


Once again, my flesh kicks in for a few seconds and I start to panic, wondering how it's going to happen and get here in the next two weeks, not to mention the ridiculous fees to speed up the process.  But like I just said in my last post, I know without a doubt that God has called me to go on this trip and I know that He can work out the details.  If that means miraculously placing my info on someone's desk tomorrow morning before I send out all these documents and checks...again....I don't really care how He does it, but I know He will.  Because He's God.  And when my life is crazy and circumstances aren't quite how I planned, it doesn't change God and His character.  Thankfully!


Please be praying that my visa arrives quickly and without problems before I leave!  And that I would be aware of those simple things that God is taking care of.  God is big, but not so big that He's not attentive to the details of things, like getting me my visa, and now my passport and immunization record.  :)

What was I thinking?!?!?

I leave for Africa in less than three weeks!  Wait...what!?  It just doesn't seem real.  I feel like I have soooooooo much to do and I feel so unprepared and not equipped.  Every once in awhile, the human/flesh part of me takes over and I start to freak out.  And then I'm reminded that God does not call the equipped, He equips the called!!!  (Thank goodness...)

I find myself wondering what I was thinking and I have constantly been reminded the last couple of weeks that God has made it perfectly clear that He has called me on this trip.  He provided over and above the resources I need to go there.  I have been showered with people who are asking how things are going, when I'm leaving, how they can be praying, etc and I have been more than encouraged.  It's such a blessing to know that there are so many people who are supporting me and serving God with me in this adventure.

Tonight, our church had a simulcast titled, A Wake Up Call, and part of it talked about our need to repent and igniting our passion for Jesus and not just going through the motions.  At the end, the lady was taking about Isaiah 6:8, which says, "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”  And I said, “Here am I. Send me!" (NIV)

I fight to control.  A lot.  It's a constant struggle, even though I know that God's will is what I want.  That was one of my sins I needed to repent of tonight.  And that I question God's sovereignty when  He doesn't do things according to my plan and time table.  I get scared when I think about where God wants to send me.  He's not safe.  BUT He is good.  All the time.  So tonight, I told God that....that I'm scared, but I want what He has for me.  I want my heart to be broken with the things that break His heart.  I want to see people as He sees them.  I want to be His hands and feet to a world that is hurting so much.  I want people to get a glimpse of God's magnificence by the way I live my life for Him.

"Here am I.  Send me!!!"