Ramblings from me....

It's crazy to think that I've already been back from Africa for about six weeks.  Time has been flying.  I got to show my aunt, Mary, and my grandma my picture slideshow tonight and looking at pictures again makes me miss it.

I've thought a little bit about how this plays into my life and such and honestly, I have no idea.  Some days, I feel like I should go back and other days I feel like I should stay here.  I loved it there, I really did.  I guess right now, I'm at a point where I feel like I'm meant to continue life here, at least until I pay off my student loans. 

I feel like the last year or so, God has been teaching me a lot about His character and who He is.  Realizing that even though life never stops changing and is always crazy, He is still good, despite my circumstances or whatever else is going on or falling apart around me.  Coming to that place of saying, "Yep, this sucks.  It's not fair.  This is horribly wrong.  But God is still GOOD."  We live in a messy world full of bad things happening to good people.  And I'm not saying that things don't matter or that they don't suck, but coming to that place of understanding that even though it doesn't make sense, God is sovereign and He is still God.  Actually believing that God's plan for my life is better than mine and trying to come to that place of total surrender to be open to what that perfect plan is.

I'm not saying my life is great and I have it all figured out and all together.  Ha...that's funny.  There are many days I get discouraged that I'm at this point and single, but do realize it's through the seasons of feeling lonely that have pushed me closer to God.  I realize that there are many things I would miss out on if I were in a relationship with a significant other.  I can pick up and leave at any given moment because it's just me.  Instead of pouring time and energy into a significant other, I can pour it into ministering to and encouraging other people. 

I continue to be amazed by the unconditional grace, love and mercy that is showered on me by the King of Kings.  And that I get to be an heir to His throne.  Me!?  A sinner.  But a sinner who is saved by Jesus Christ.  That's all for now.