I have one of the best "jobs" in the world. I have the privlege of working with the youth in the community. Five years ago, I probably would have called that something else, but not as nice as the word "privlege." Perhaps more along the lines of "punishment." :)
But seriously, I have been blessed beyond measure since I started working with the youth group at my church. It has not always been easy. There have been days, I would love to shake some of those kids, but God has taught me so much thru it and them (the students).
The last few months, I have also had the pleasure of being a member of CPOE. CPOE is a group of myself and 3 other youth pastors who helped put together a 30 Hour Famine and are dreaming at how we can reach the youth in this community for Christ.
Wednesday night, we put on a free concert-two of the three bands from the famine came back and did an amazing concert. We didn't have a ton of kids show up, but it was still a good time. Anyhow, one of the singers gave a testimony and presented the Gospel and gave the kids an opportunity to make a decision. The guy prayed with the students and then he told them, if they prayed with him, to just look up at him. I so badly wanted to run on stage and see what kids were making new decisions or perhaps recommitments. But I sat in the back, just being thankful that we were able to put on this "event" that was hopefully planting seeds.
After, the band wanted to do one more song and one of the other youth pastors told me a girl had slipped into the bathroom and I should go check it out. I went in and this 14 year-old girl had tears streaming down her face. God was definitely working! I talked with her briefly, but then I had the honor of praying with this girl and I got to remind her that God loves her and has great things planned for her and tell her all these awesome promises God has for her life. It was one of the coolest things I have ever done.
What a humbling reminder of why I'm here and why I do the things I do. Not just youth ministry, but everyday life. That's what it's about. Seeing God work and bring people to Him. She was kind of embarrassed that she was crying (heaven forbid her mascara was smudged), but I reminded her that those tears are worth so much! On my way home, as I was thanking God for letting me be a part of that, I began to think about the last time God moved in my heart like that. I remember when I was at a LIFE youth conference the summer before my junior year of high school and I cried one of the first nights during a speak/concert. I was so embarrassed because I didn't even know why I was crying! Of course, now I know that God was moving and the Holy Spirit was working on/in me, but then I wonder why I've become so comfortable with life that I don't have that passion in my relationship with God. Have I become so comfortable and self-sufficient that I'm keeping the Holy Spirit out of my life? Ouch.
In our Bible Study on the book Crazy Love, the last chapter was called "Serving Leftovers to a Holy God." Guilty, right here. Something is better than nothing, right? But like the book states, really, who likes a forced compliment or an obligated service. Generally, we would rather have no compliment than one being forced because it "should" be said. So why would God want any different.
I have been realizing how much I take my relationship with God for granted. Yes, God's grace, love and mercy is unconditional and nothing I do can make Him love me any less. God doesn't have a love-o-meter that says, "Jenny went to church today, she gets a little extra love today." No, it's always the same, but what has happened to my desire to give God that love? I want to cry like this young girl at the concert did, purely and simply because God is at work in my life. I don't want to give Him leftovers anymore. He deserves it ALL!
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