"Calm My Anxious Heart"

I've been reading this book as of late, by Linda Dillow, which I highly recommend.  Especially if you tend to be a control freak who tries to figure out how everything is going to work out or happen.  Or if you worry about the silly things in life, or really if you worry at all.  Not that I would ever do any of those things...;) 


This book couldn't have come at a better time really.  If any of you have talked with me in the last few weeks, you know that I recently started a new job and it has been a bit of a struggle.  I often struggle with wondering and knowing if I'm where God wants me to be.  I've been known to justify what I want into saying, "Yep, this happened, it must be God's plan."  ie: I was offered this new job, so clearly, it's what God wants.  Then, I start and feel overwhelmed and have new-job-stupidness feeling and say, "God, is this really where you want me?"  Sometimes, I analyze everything too much and suck at being content with where I'm at for that given moment in time.  Hence, reading this book at such a perfect time.  


So today, Linda asked the question: Are you going to judge God by the circumstances you don't understand or judge the circumstances in the light of the character of God?


Really Linda!?  Thinking about that makes me even more frustrated with myself...I know God well enough to know that His plan is good (see Jeremiah 29:11), not to mention perfect (see Romans 12:2), and someday, I will look back and laugh that I'm having this struggle.  It's foolish really when I think about it.  She also talks about how we "play catch with God."  We throw Him the ball and trust Him initially with (insert worry/problem here), but then we take it back and think we have to "help" God (because that makes sense, right!?), when we have to give Him the ball and LEAVE IT THERE.  


So often I focus on my circumstances rather than the character of God.  


"Contentment comes from a proper relationship to God, not from a response to the circumstances."  (Thanks for the reminder, Linda!)


In Isaiah 41:10, God says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  


So what am I worrying about?!  Goal for the week: focus on God, not my circumstances.  And stop playing catch with God.


Simple, right?  :)