What was I thinking?!?!?

I leave for Africa in less than three weeks!  Wait...what!?  It just doesn't seem real.  I feel like I have soooooooo much to do and I feel so unprepared and not equipped.  Every once in awhile, the human/flesh part of me takes over and I start to freak out.  And then I'm reminded that God does not call the equipped, He equips the called!!!  (Thank goodness...)

I find myself wondering what I was thinking and I have constantly been reminded the last couple of weeks that God has made it perfectly clear that He has called me on this trip.  He provided over and above the resources I need to go there.  I have been showered with people who are asking how things are going, when I'm leaving, how they can be praying, etc and I have been more than encouraged.  It's such a blessing to know that there are so many people who are supporting me and serving God with me in this adventure.

Tonight, our church had a simulcast titled, A Wake Up Call, and part of it talked about our need to repent and igniting our passion for Jesus and not just going through the motions.  At the end, the lady was taking about Isaiah 6:8, which says, "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”  And I said, “Here am I. Send me!" (NIV)

I fight to control.  A lot.  It's a constant struggle, even though I know that God's will is what I want.  That was one of my sins I needed to repent of tonight.  And that I question God's sovereignty when  He doesn't do things according to my plan and time table.  I get scared when I think about where God wants to send me.  He's not safe.  BUT He is good.  All the time.  So tonight, I told God that....that I'm scared, but I want what He has for me.  I want my heart to be broken with the things that break His heart.  I want to see people as He sees them.  I want to be His hands and feet to a world that is hurting so much.  I want people to get a glimpse of God's magnificence by the way I live my life for Him.

"Here am I.  Send me!!!"